it's ironic that i'm feeling strange in my own place..the homely scent of buuglandia is gone..and the familiarity of my so-called neighbors have evaporated as dew is gone at nine..
what bothers me most is that everyone seems to get shock seeing me around the bank premises..why??don't i have the right to stay at my place??silly people..and silly me for wasting my time drooling on their stupid reactions..
life is not all about change..sometimes, when you're so damn ready to face changes, you'll realize that what's hotta hotta in this material world are those little damn surprises..
though, it's pretty amazing to bump into changes every now and then--like your once-shy-and-almost-silent-friend-turns-into-a-bitchy-chick..or your once-witty-and-adorable-bummy-turns-into-a-smart-ass and all the likes, you can't help but tell yourself, it's the healthy thing for them and maybe that what makes the freakin' happy..
but of course when both changes and pretty surprises attacks you--you can't help it but feel stupid and coward..
i've been ready for changes--prepared myself for that new turn but when i got there, it was still pretty alarming..
no one knows what else is ahead for them..
the only thing's for sure--a lot of "no one knows" things are in store..
distance--though literally doesn't mean emptiness--it bothers me so hard...
torn between my strong will of living a responsible world and the idea of sticking to the person i'm bound to keep..
and even if being away from him hurts like hell and that my whole being shouts his soul, my mature thinking tells me that love can wait and love should be patient as i should be strong..naks!!
miss the place that has been my home for long..
and the people..
i'm used to being solid fan of my dear buug but iligan had carved in me a compassion and a devotion..
living in an almost new world..never sure of what will happen but confidence sparks surprises and respect begets respect..
i'm slowly turning myself into a woman most people doubt i could be..